When God Asked Me to Serve Beyond My Confidence

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

It may be difficult for those who have heard me preach or teach to imagine, but I was once very frightened of speaking in public.

I had a fairly severe stutter as a child. At school, when I had to read or perform in front of others, I would hold the page high enough to hide their faces. If I could not see the audience, perhaps I could pretend that they could not see my embarrassment.

At times, I dreaded an approaching public presentation so much that I prayed as I lay in bed for the Lord to return before morning. That would certainly have solved the problem—but not in the way God intended to deal with my fear.

The Excuses That Sound Like Wisdom

For a long time, avoiding public service felt reasonable. Speaking did not seem to suit my personality. There were other people who appeared more confident, more articulate and more naturally gifted. Surely they were better choices.

But eventually I began to wonder whether God’s purpose was not to keep me comfortable, but to teach me to trust Him. Perhaps the question was not whether a particular ministry suited my confidence. Perhaps it was whether there was a need I could help meet.

So I began making myself available in church. Instead of waiting to feel naturally suited to every opportunity, I tried to put up my hand when there was something useful to do.

That did not make fear disappear overnight. It did something more important: it placed me where I could no longer pretend that my own strength was sufficient.

“I Will Be With Thy Mouth”

Moses offered God a familiar objection:

“O my Lord, I am not eloquent… but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.” — Exodus 4:10

God did not tell Moses that his assessment was imaginary. Instead, He redirected Moses from the weakness of the servant to the sufficiency of the One sending him:

“Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.” — Exodus 4:12

That distinction has helped me. God did not need me to become naturally impressive before I could serve. He wanted me to go in dependence upon Him.

As I became involved in ministry, I began to see His hand at work precisely because I knew I could not do certain things in my own strength. The more I served, the more I had to trust Him. By His grace, I gradually learned to use the voice He had given me.

Weakness Is Not the Same as Unwillingness

There is no shame in recognising weakness. Paul openly acknowledged his, and Moses told God about his difficulty speaking. But weakness can become an excuse when it is used to settle every question before God has spoken.

I had assumed that confidence should come before obedience. In practice, much of the confidence I gained came through obedience. God met me while I was serving, not merely while I was waiting to feel ready.

I still do not believe Christian service is a performance. Eloquence cannot substitute for truth, character or dependence upon the Holy Spirit. Nor should every believer be pressed into public speaking. The body of Christ has many members and many forms of service.

Yet we should be careful that “this is not my gift” does not become a respectable way of saying, “I do not want to be uncomfortable.” Sometimes a need is an invitation to discover that God’s grace really is sufficient.

The Page No Longer Has to Hide Me

I still value written notes. They help me prepare, remember and speak clearly. But the page that once hid the audience from my eyes can now serve a better purpose.

My weakness did not disqualify me from usefulness. It became one of the places where God taught me that His strength is not reserved for people who already appear strong.

If fear is keeping you from an opportunity to serve, you may not need to wait until you feel fearless. Ask whether the need is genuine, whether the service honours God and whether He may be asking you to trust Him beyond your natural confidence.

His invitation is not simply, “Become stronger.” It is, “My grace is sufficient for thee.”

Prayer: Lord, thank You that Your strength is made perfect in weakness. Keep me from hiding behind my limitations when You have given me an opportunity to serve. Give me humility to depend upon You, courage to take the next faithful step and grace to use whatever voice and ability You have placed in my hands. Amen.